I’ve decided to blog about the most fascinating and delicate creatures on the planet: Socialites and Reality stars. Not just about them, but when they bless us with perhaps their most sacred gift of all... Music.
The first one that pops into my head is of course the shameless leader of socialites: Paris Hilton. When she started popping up on blogs and trash mags after the debut of the Simple Life I have to admit I was addicted. I’ve always been a sucker for the mega famous, but she was a new breed. At least she was to me and my generation. I found it fascinating how muttering “That’s hot!” and courting paparazzi made her literally one of, if not the biggest star on the planet. Love her or hate her she knew what she was doing and single handedly made fame whoring without any real talent, other than posing and showing up, a new art and an aspiration for millions.
Defending Paris Hilton is actually one of my favorite topics. I see an art in what she did. Fame can be conducted just like an orchestra and she was pretty much the Beethoven of Hollywood. Status, Gossip, Reputation and Fame is a new medium in performance art and I can appreciate that, hell…I even do it myself. There are incredibly talented Actors and Singers that would never be able to pull off the kind of media circus and social frenzy that Paris did. She was shameless and she was specific and she fed on our insatiable need to live a more glamorous life…then she started making music.
This is where I think she went wrong. “Stars Are Blind” was mediocre and if it didn’t have Paris’s name attached to it would have never seen the light of day. Paris represented the high life. She was a poster child for the rich and the famous and instead of making a track designed to make people feel like they were “hot” like her she released some reggae sprinkled love song with a cheesy beach video. Her first single should have been called “That’s Hot” and followed the same ruthless self promotion the rest of her career did. I swear to god, if she would have done that she could have at least done a club tour. I did listen to her full album and there were some very good “Paris” tracks that should have been released first. That’s the thing…don’t try to convince your audience who you are, give them what they want and feed the illusions they have of you...
Heidi Montag. What a gem. She basically is doing what Paris did except she is taking a step further. She isn’t just shopping at Kitson and strutting out of clubs; she is a soap star without a soap opera to appear in. Her paparazzi photos are NOT CANDID they are staged about as good as a photo shoot at sears portrait studio. People made up rumors about Paris; Heidi is starting the rumors herself, selling magazines and making a ton of cash. I honestly believe everything she does revolves around what kind of publicity she will receive. Fuck drugs kids, don’t become famous…it will ruin you ten times faster and steal your soul ten times worse than meth and crack combined. Anyway...She started making music too. Again with the same thing…some bullshit pop songs about love and life.
Dear Heidi,
WE DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR LOVE OR YOUR LIFE UNLESS WE CHOOSE TO READ IT WITHIN THE PAGES OF US WEEKLY OR ON PEREZ.
She has one song “Superficial” which is reality star- turned singer- pop music perfection..the Chorus: “They say I’m superficial/Some call me a bitch/They’re just mad cuz I’m sexy, famous, and I’m rich”…isn’t that exactly what you want to hear from tabloid royalty? Who cares about her feelings she is sexy, famous and rich and that’s why you don’t like her and I’m her biggest fan.
Oh god this blog is getting long. I’m sorry; this is just a very passionate topic for me.
And from the women of The Real Housewives brand we get “Tardy for the Party” from Kim Zolciak and “Money can’t buy you Class” by Countess Lu Ann De Lesseps… The reality stars are getting smarter people. They are cutting out the “meaningful” songs and going straight for the image enhancing tracks. They aren’t trying to fool us; they are trying to feed us.
Being famous doesn’t automatically endow the celebrity with talent they didn’t have to begin with, it does however provide a platform where they have the opportunity to do whatever the fuck they want. The talent lies in how perceptive the famous are to the public’s opinion of them and how well they can deliver the goods. We don’t want you to sound good, we don’t want you to dance well and we don’t need to you write your own music. We want you to be the self indulgent motherfuckers that you are and give us music that makes us hate you or love you even more.
Fake it til you make it, and once you make it sell it for a million bucks.
By the way…have you picked up my new album yet?
Its available at www.peterbreeze.com
Your friendly neighborhood superstar,
pb
Peter Breeze - O Face
Paris Hilton - Stars Are Blind
Heidi Montag - Superficial
Kim Zolciak - Tardy for the Party
Countess Luann - Money Can't Buy You Class
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